here's my pitch
[Scene fades in with a sepia-tone filter, lively piano music playing in the background. The screen reads "C.R.E.W. presents: Extra-Exciting Roles for Crewmates!"]
Narrator (with a 1930s radio announcer voice):
🎙️ "Gather 'round, mini crewmates, for a marvelous and magical adventure with your pals from C.R.E.W.—Cultivated Reliable Explanatory Workers! Today, we're diving into the wacky world of Crew Sub Roles! Hold onto your hats!"
[Cut to a crewmate walking cheerfully down the hallway of The Skeld, whistling a happy tune.]
Narrator:
🎙️ "First up, meet the Scientist, folks! Always in a hurry with that handy-dandy portable Vitals monitor! This gizmo lets our brilliant Scientist peek at everyone's health from anywhere on the ship! Just make sure to finish those tasks to keep the battery charged!"
[Scientist checks Vitals monitor and continues on their way.]
Narrator:
🎙️ "Now, let's zoom over to our Engineer—a regular wiz with a wrench! These clever crewmates can slip in and out of vents, just like those pesky Impostors! But watch out, time's ticking when you're in the vents, and you can't use 'em during Comms Sabotaged!"
[Engineer pops out of a vent, winks at the camera, and continues fixing wires.]
Narrator:
🎙️ "Next, a round of applause for our Tracker! This savvy scout can keep an eye on other players' whereabouts. Got someone in your sights? They’ll stay marked on your map, no matter where they wander!"
[Tracker marks another crewmate on the map and gives a thumbs-up.]
Narrator:
🎙️ "And don’t forget our jitterbugging Noisemaker—an ace with a special trick! When our Noisemaker shuffles off this mortal coil, a loud alert echoes through the ship to warn everyone of the Impostor’s dirty deed!"
[Noisemaker gets "killed" (in a comically over-the-top fashion), and a loud alarm is heard.]
Narrator:
🎙️ "But beware, mini crewmates! Among you hides the crafty Shapeshifter! These sly foxes can disguise themselves as any living player. Keep your wits about you, or you might be tricked by one of these masters of deception!"
[Shapeshifter transforms into another crewmate, chuckling mischievously.]
Narrator:
🎙️ "And then there’s the elusive Phantom—able to vanish into thin air! One moment they're here, the next—poof! Gone like a ghost in the night!"
[Phantom crewmate vanishes with a flash.]
[Screen transitions to a peaceful, starry background with a guardian angel float over a crewmate.]
Narrator:
🎙️ "Lastly, keep your spirits high with the Guardian Ange! Even in the afterlife, they watch over and protect their pals from those dastardly Impostors. If a Guardian Angel shields you, you get a second chance—no Impostor can take you down!"
[Guardian Angel places a protective shield around a fellow crewmate.]
Narrator:
🎙️ "So, there you have it, mini crewmates! With these extra-exciting roles by your side, your adventures will be out of this world! Brought to you by C.R.E.W.—Cultivated Reliable Explanatory Workers! Stay safe, stay smart, and remember to finish those tasks! Until next time, happy crewing!"